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Did the winner pull off an incredible feat? Or did the trusting players just play exceptionally – in other words mind-blowing poorly? Discussions will rage on social media for ages, in any case the victor of the debut – and probably not the concluding – season of The Celebrity Traitors is the treacherous Alan Carr.

At the moment of his appointment by the emcee, viewers assumed he would not survive an hour. And he did not. “I am nauseous. I have a perspiration issue and can’t keep a secret.” He also cannot murmur or recollect if he had secured a shield.

Yet, in the company, by some of the daftest players of the game since records began, he managed to succeed, evolving into the role with terrifying ease. He concluded with a theatrical gesture, bursting into semi-crocodile tears about how challenging it had been for him to bear the murderous burden.

The remaining pair of loyal players, hurried to console him (“It’s been tearing me apart!”). Audiences elsewhere, many envisioned upturned glances and yells.

The Final Showdown

As things commenced of the last episode, there had been five surviving competitors of the starting group of nineteen. After one last collective task, involving a locomotive, £20,000 in secure containers, tools and tips scattered across the compartments, and two chain-wrapped coffins (“I assumed control a bit there,” notes one participant of the revealing. “Since I was willing to lose a finger”), they assembled for their final discussion.

Two contestants made their selections for a fellow competitor, regardless of the academic’s remarkable track of reasoning himself to every erroneous outcome imaginable. I hold strong in my view that this player would have made the world’s greatest betrayer, but as a trusting player he was disastrous.

He succeeded to vote for another contestant at the table, nevertheless, and she was correctly eliminated in the end.

Sorrow and Forgiveness

Now we are four. It is difficult to recount to detail what occurred afterward. A particular player … felt a hesitation. An instance when he doubted his best friend. Among the most profound love stories of recent history, between the hugest man and the tiniest man on the screen, the athlete and the puzzlemaster, faltered under the blow as the uncertain player displayed his concluding choice to reveal his closest friend’s name.

The eliminated contestant stood firm – he is not built for it – but were it possible, he might have. “But I love you,” the voter said, helplessly.

The eliminated player left, the remaining two assumed they were in the clear and subsequent to an activity entailing tossing bags into a fire, the group agreed to end the game.

Since he was the lone remaining deceiver, Alan was announced as the victor and secured the full prize pot for the children’s cancer charity. But the most important thing is that when the emcee directed the five to a gathering on the castle steps, forgiveness was immediate.

Saying Goodbye to the Contestants

I will, together with the more than 13 million other viewers, feel their absence. (Excluding a couple of participants who lacked the occasion to do much, and one more who failed to say sorry for botching a particular challenge.)

I shall miss the bitter fury of one player, the theatrical sadness of a different one, the complete failure of another participant to interpret events without self-reference.

I will yearn for an individual’s aversion to lengthy terms, a pair’s humor, a performer’s pure charisma, a vocalist as the embodiment of everything that endures as virtuous in this flawed existence, a veteran host as TV’s enduring personality, a gentle participant and the constant uncle-like charm of an adored individual, in addition to all the last-round players.

Most importantly I am going to lament the loss of the dignity and style of an individual participant, so supremely noble even when shouting into a hole or breaking wind in a cabin. As the figure beneath the presenter’s locks emphasized on many occasions, you were, largely, inept in the competition. However, you served as superb, fantastic amusement.

The famous-person version can be found for streaming now.